


Unspoken

by phrenitis



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-02
Updated: 2006-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-14 21:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phrenitis/pseuds/phrenitis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In her boots and tailored black jacket, she walks with a confidence that is entirely Phoebus and he stares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Season Two, _The Long Goodbye_

For two days it’s all he can think about.

In her boots and tailored black jacket, she walks with a confidence that is entirely Phoebus and he stares.

She calls him aside after a meeting, her arms crossed. “Do we need to talk?”

He shrugs and looks away.

==

It’s bruising, the kiss.

And twice in less than twenty-four hours he finds himself wishing circumstances could be so very very different.

Thalan pushes her backward abruptly. She trips, her legs tangled tightly in his, but her hands never leave his belt until he’s pressing her up against the wall, grabbing her arms to pin them up over her head. Her kiss is rough, hot, and after she bites his lip, she looks up at him and smiles.

John is all too aware of where this is leading.

==

Irrationally, he’s jealous of Thalan and angry with Phoebus, which means he’s envious of himself and mad at Elizabeth, and it’s all so fucked up, he can only begin to breathe when he’s off-world.

==

They step through the stargate into a planet that is dreary and rainy, and he relishes in the fact that his boots are muddy after only a quarter of a mile down the road.

He feels in control again – there is work to be done; he has a mission after all - and he sets a quick pace to the village.

They stay one night, but the bed is hard and his mind is restless.

He tries not to think of Atlantis.

==

Sometimes he wonders if she remembers, and if she does, if it meant anything to her at all.

==

When he brings back the ZPM, a cheer goes up around the city.

“You did it, John.” She shares a smile, her eyes bright.

He licks his lower lip and hisses in pain.

==

He chooses to remember as little as possible. It’s easier to believe in Thalan and Phoebus, and wipe the memory off as theirs.

But he knows the feel of her, intimately, and remembers more than he can forget.

It’s agonizing to work and live in such close proximity when he’s torn between avoiding or kissing her.

He goes off-world again.

==

She doesn’t remember, he decides a few weeks later. The majority of details aren’t exactly clear for him, and he can believe.

She is forever professional.

==

They gather in front of the screen to see the added defense shields, and he suddenly notices he’s standing much too close to her. He thinks he feels her body tilt, leaning backward toward him ever so slightly, and it’s wrong that he can’t step away, can’t even stop thinking about it.

His heart beats loudly as he stares at the computer blueprint of Atlantis before she turns to reach around him for her PDA. His arm brushes against her side, skin very briefly against skin, and she jumps.

The bright flush eventually leaves her cheeks, but she stays a conference room distance away from him the rest of the meeting.

==

She never says a word about any of it, and that, perhaps, is the worst of all.

 

- _Fin_


End file.
